Much has happened since our last post. I suppose I got a bit discouraged. I’d hoped that readership here would be much higher than it had been. I was “posting my brains out,” and comments were few and far between. I was, (still am) very passionate about this topic (“Interracial-ism”) – and I know writing about it here is both good for me, and good for the collective “us.” In my mind, I envisioned this great, big Zebra community of folks, sharing and discussing the racial and interracial issues of our time. Don’t get me wrong– I’m very grateful and excited every time someone takes the time to respond to a post, or share their story, opinion, etc. Each one is so very unique and interesting. For that reason, (and of course aspirations of fame <fortune-HA> and social popularity) I’d love to have more traffic here. Unfortunately, not posting in blogging is akin to doing what Plaxico Burress, (New York football Giants) did a few weeks ago when he shot himself in the foot, (well, leg – but close enough for this literary analogy! Regardless, I thank you for your understanding and patience.
World’s teetering on the brink of economic ruin.
The United States has elected a black man President.
I can’t find a job that suits me to save my life!
Today, our state Governor was arrested on various corruption charges. Imagine such a thing happening in Illinois!
My wonderful, beautiful wife underwent successful breast cancer surgery. She’s fighting through all of the post-op pain, etc.
I’ve read back over that last item several times for the last two days now <the magic of cybertime– yes two days have passed as I work on this “WINTER UPDATE.”> It’s funny, (actually not so funny–) “My wife battled breast cancer,” makes you pause, and put things into perspective. NOTHING much else matters after that. Which is why I’ve struggled to continue on after writing the words. None of this is very important when your partner and mate for life takes ill. Not politics, not sports, nor the daily complaints, the accumulated toys, bills, and other stuff of life. Only my wife matters. The importance of everything else faded off. Two things became more important to us. Just two things. Relationships with our God, and with our families.
In a way it’s very sad that it took cancer to bring us closer to our people and our Maker. Human nature no doubt. But on a more positive note, we are so much more grateful and thankful for both after all of this.
We are both looking forward to a happier and healthier 2009. I will spend more time here in Zebra-land, whether our “circulation” hits a thousand, a hundred-thousand, or hovers right around a hundred. We started this Black & White blog to dialogue the many issues that we face day in and out; not to become the next Google. And this post is about breast cancer– my wife’s breast cancer. Not about my writing, readership numbers, or anything else. I digress. (What else is new?)
The diagnosis hit like a ton of bricks. Discovered during a self-exam and missed by routine mammographies, the doctor had 95-percent assured us that the mass would be benign. When she said the words, breast cancer, I felt the life go right out of each of us. She cried, I remained stoic, focusing on anything remotely optimistic I heard. In the end, there was good reason for positivity. By herself, (and I have to add by God’s grace and mercy) Que found a mass missed by the high-tech machines women are told from early on can save their lives. Nothing against those machines, I guess it just proves you can’t rely too heavily on them. Gotta do the due diligence ladies! Do those self exams, Que’s living proof that they matter. Her cancer was categorized the very earliest stage there is– I forget the letter-number designation, S1-A maybe?
The months since the words were first uttered (September) have been a whirlwind. A blur. Reality you hope you might somehow wake up from. I think it will be years before we get really good perspective on it all. For now, this is my perspective.
My wife is recovering from her surgeries and, within a few weeks she’ll be back working. I’m sure that’ll produce more discomfort, stress, and tax her even more. We know she needs to get back into her life. What I don’t know is how all of this will affect her, long-term. How it will change her mentally, etc. Decision making; will small things once sweat over become negligible, or will even smaller stuff get the best of her? Knowing Que as I think I do, she’ll not change in that way at all. Regardless, I’m there for her– as she would be for me.
As this is a blog about stuff that happens to us, (US = what I consider a fairly normal Interracial Couple), please feel free to respond in any way that you’re moved to respond to this. And while flexing the censorship muscle is not me at all, I do ask that comments lean to the positive end of the blogo-spectrum. We’re not gloom & doom people and we won’t tolerate it from you either!! Just kidding. But not.
Cancer obviously reaches across and through all racial and ethnic lines, but do different cultures deal with it differently? Do some groups respond and treat it a certain way, while others go at it another? What about reactions? And reactions of friends, family, and co-workers– Do those vary by ethnicity? I’m guessing not, as I’ve said a hundred times here, people are people. But you know as well as I do that different cultures have different ways of dealing with “stuff.” Let’s talk about all of this. It’s interesting.