I preface what I am about to say with the by now familiar disclaimer, “These things are true of all relationships, not just interracial ones…” But the vacation issue–that is, how to spend precious time off and much needed time away from work and worry– often is an area of minor disagreement for this black-white loving pair.
This author, (the pale half) leans to the outdoors; especially to camping, fishing, relaxing under the stars and, yes, sometimes the bugs and howling things. Getting my wife (dark half) “out there” among the wildlife is like pulling gnat’s teeth. Her idea of a vacation is an antiseptically clean hotel room, or better yet a cruise cabin where the only wild life one sees are the folded towel bunnies left on the made bed. Waking up on a dry tent floor & rolling up my sleeping bag cost very little and make me a happy camper.
Don’t get me wrong– I’ve been on a couple of cruises; loved them! But as we’ve grown older and further from our dating, “must impress / best behavior” days, I get my vacation-way much less than before. In my mind, overnight and long weekend hotel stays outnumber weekends on the “wild” side at least two to one.
The Zebracouple spent a few days in a semi-wooded, semi-residential area of south-central Wisconsin last week. We enjoyed a beautifully appointed, tastefully decorated, quiet, clean cabin generously donated by a loving friend. Within five minutes I announced to Que that I’d be returning this winter to pen my Great American Novel there. (I later stated that I could live there. Meant it.)
I know she had a good time, (due in-part to the Direct TV hook-up), but she was freaked out by the caterpillars that crawled all over the outside (OUTSIDE) of the cabin. Not a single caterpillar was spotted inside the cabin the entire time we were there! Ants, yes, a few, but nothing else. My wimpy Royal Caribbean wife was completely pre-occupied by the bugs whenever we left the cabin; couldn’t get to the Jeep fast enough to escape the danger!
We both suffered a few bites of one kind or another. One little something got her in the finger and the digit grew to about twice its original petite size. Me, I’ve been bitten before, (even freaked out a little myself this year when a wasp or hornet stung me in the head); but this lil bug bite, whatever got her was just one more fly in the ointment- detracting away from the smell of the pine, the bright morning sunlight through the tall trees, the birdsongs, and the gentle evening breezes. It was a beautiful relaxing setting and though there was a firepit, there was no way my African American bride was going to sit “out there” for any length of time. “Too buggy.”
There, I did it. See up there in that previous paragraph? I played the race card. I made the point that my black wife is no outdoors—-woman. It’s okay, I love her to pieces anyway! Who knows, I maybe even love her in some weird way because she is a wimp about such things. Makes me feel “MANLY.” A little lonely sometimes too, truth be told because I do love nature a lot. Wish she did too. But I can still get some of that on the high seas whenever we can scrape up enough cash for a big boat ride.
Is the whole camping thing a black-white issue? I have to say that I see mostly only white people when I’m tenting, or fishing. Why is that? I know black people fish. We live in the suburbs of a large metro area and I see black men and women fishing often in forest preserve area ponds and lakes. I never see them up in Canada or Wisconsin or Minnesota where I’ve fished. What’s up with that?
Tell us your side of this. Maybe you can help convert my wife. Maybe your comments will only cement her belief that she ought not stray more than 20 miles from the nail or hair store. But we’d still like to know– How will other IR couples spend their vacations this year? Do you, becasue of the whole mixed ethnicity / culture thing, have any leisure / vacation time conflicts? How do you resolve them or compromise? Weigh in. Looking forward to your comments.