Gone With the Wind or “ElastaGel’s Story”
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a wannabe writer / journalist. As I begin writing this “Special Edition” post, (note that it’s today’s second) Que is doing what she can to stop the press, and supress free media. Undaunted, my journalistic integrity is stronger than my fear of sleeping on the futon with the dogs tonight! So I’ll continue as though I was writing this piece for my local paper…
Police are baffled by a gruesome discovery along State Route 50 this evening. A man walking his dog near the road discovered what appeared to be human hair! The hair, reddish brown and permed was discovered around 6pm. Approximately 12-inches in length, it is believed that the dog was lured to the scene by the strong scent of geri-curl.
This reporter has traced the hair back to “Que” (ZebraCouple, dark half).** Witnesses say she was in the passenger seat of a top-down, doors-off south bound Jeep Wrangler around 5pm. As the vehicle crossed over the Interstate, blustery winds whipped the loosely clipped hairpiece from the nub of her own real hair. The lovely & lustrous locks did a single loopty-loop around the inside of the Jeep before going airborne.
“I thought a bird had flown into the car,” Que’s husband, clearly shaken later stated. “I had a split second where I might-coulda grabbed it,” he added, “but if it was a bird, or worse–some kind of flying rodent– I didn’t want any part of it! I offered to go and try to rescue the piece, but rush hour traffic that time of day would’ve made that a perilous mission. In other words, hairy.”
The couple was seen a few moments later pulling into the parking lot of the local hair store, presumably to pick out a replacement piece for the roadkill-locks.
** The original owner of the hair is believed to be an Alaskan Inuit woman named ELastaGel which, translated means, “I have no need for hair, I’m an Eskimo.”
So okay, for comedic purposes I’ve buried my lede, and the whole “police are baffled” thing makes no sense. And forget about the Inverted Pyramid. It’s about as inverted now as that tire-tracked weave will be round about midnight. Just having a little fun at my great-sport-of-a-wife’s expense. We had a great laugh over the whole thing, watching it whip about, and then back into the traffic behind us. It was gone with the Chicago Wind.
One last note. This is a great little insight as to how people of different cultures EVENTUALLY come to terms and understanding of the issues of their partners. About a half-hour earlier, I’d warned Que that she might need to press her head back against the seat to “keep it on” so to speak. If we get any closer into one another’s bizness, we may even buy a weave we can share one day.
zebracouple